An opinion emailed to me

I feel like it’s unfair for the kids that they’re given such an inadequate teacher. I feel like I’m getting more out of these bible studies than the kids are, which is kind of an ironic injustice for the kids. Aside from the fact that most of them are there because they’re forced to be, they do come to church expecting a spiritual growth- or at least their parents send them for said reason. Is it fair that instead of a well-studied teacher, I’m placed up there in front of them like a blubbering idiot? And for the majority of the time, I’m learning instead of the kids. I’m hardly teaching. Even in the past 2 weeks we’ve done this, the only reason any words came out of my mouth that sounded remotely like teachings is through God’s grace and the things I’ve learned in the past from other, more knowledgeable teachers.

All I can do is trust that He does provide and that He will make up for anything and everything I lack.

In the book of John, which we are studying, there is a lot of emphasis put on how Jesus constantly shows all these miracles (calling of the first disciples 1:50 You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. you shall see greater things than that, turning water into wine 2:11 This, the first of miraculous signs, Jesus performed at Cana in Galilee. he thus revealed his glory, and his disciples put their faith in him, feeding the five thousand 6:2 and a great crowd of people followed him because they saw the miraculous signs he had performed on the sick; 6:14 After the people saw the miraculous sign that Jesus did, they began to say, Surely this is the prophet who is come into the world, healing the sick 4:48Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders, Jesus told him, you will never believe, healing the cripple, walking on water) to the people, and yet the Jews still do not believe 6:30 So they asked him, “What miraculous sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do?”; 6:60,66 On hearing it, many of his disciples said, this is a hard teaching. who can accept it?//From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him

And we in modern times sit here in disbelief, scoffing at the Jews for their lack of faith. How can they not believe what is right before them? Or at least I did. But it took 7 years for me to open my own eyes to my own miracles that God was working in my life. If anyone else was watching they’d say the same thing about me: how can she not see what God is doing in her life, how can she not realize the strength and support she receives?

It’s almost as if the more I’m humbled by his grace and mercy, the more I realize I should literally become nothing before Him, the more He decides to use me.
The only problem is that I never know when or how He wants to use me. This is when I have to pray for the spirit of discernment.
Pray with me. Please.

Other than that please pray that He will raise up leaders in the youth ministry of not just my church, but churches everywhere that are struggling. And if leaders don’t step up, that He will mold the current seniors who were thrown into these teacher positions into the leaders and teachers that these kids need.